Easier To Run
by TsuirakuMitsukai
Summary: This is my first attempt at a songfic, so be kind! It's all about how Draco feels with his family. Songfic to Easier To Run by Linkin Park.


**AN- **This is my first attempt at a songfic, so I'm still not really sure how to do it. If anyone has any comments or ideas, let me know!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter. The song belongs to Linkin Park.

**Easier To Run**

_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone_

Narcissa carefully wiped away the blood from her beaten son's face. He closed his silvery gray eyes in pain, despite her gentleness. He could faintly hear her apologizing for Lucius' behavior. There really wasn't anything she could do to stop it, so he didn't see what the point of apologizing was. Whenever Lucius became violent like this, she just left the room quietly, returning later to tend to his wounds. Although she said she loved him, Draco was truly alone.

_Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
The secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see  
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played  
_

Nobody knew of these abuses except Draco, Narcissa and, obviously, Lucius. Honestly, whom could he tell? He didn't really have any friends or anyone to help him. Sure, he knew people who would help, but they would all pity him and he didn't want any of that. He was alone with his haunting memories. All of his physical wounds healed with a quick charm, but no one could ever erase the scars on his soul.

_(If I could change I would, take back the pain I would)  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)  
(If I could change I would, take back the pain I would)  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
(I would take all my shame to the grave)_

It's not like Draco wanted to be what he was. He was just a pawn of his father. A pawn of Voldemort. No, he wasn't afraid to say his name. What harm could a simple name do? It's not like it's going to reach out and attack you.

Voldemort just wanted him to torment Potter. Why? No clue. He just obeyed orders and was a good little boy. He was tired of it though. He could have been friends with them if he hadn't been ordered not to be. Yep, that whole 'want to be friends, Potter?' deal at the beginning of first year was a fake. He was just following orders. Again.

It's not like he wanted to be best buddies with Potter and Granger and Weasley. They were too _good_ for him. But he didn't exactly want to be their enemy either. Potter was someone whom you couldnod to civilly in the corridors. Maybe ask him what the homework was for Transfiguration. That was all shot though. He would take it all back if he could, but it was no use dreaming.

_Chorus  
It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone_

_Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past_

Draco walked through the chilly halls of the Manor, his feet barely making a sound on the heavily carpeted floors. He didn't want to go to sleep. He would always have dreams of his memories. So, he spent the night hours exploring the Manor. Even having lived in it all his life, Draco didn't know every part of it.

He came across a window, a rare occurrence in his house. He stared at the open landscape longingly. He wished he could just leave and never come back. He would leave all of his pain, all of his memories, all of his life.

_(If I could change I would, take back the pain I would)  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)  
(If I could change I would, take back the pain I would)  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
(I would take all my shame to the grave)  
_  
_Just washing it aside  
All of the helplessness inside  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
It's so much simpler than change_

The dinner table was silent except the slight clang of silverware every now and then. Lucius had on his usual blank mask and so did Narcissa. He never thought of them as Mother or Father. It just felt wrong. As he bit into the bread, Draco grimaced at the sour taste. It was sourdough bread.

Before he could do anything, Lucius had backhanded him across the face. Draco tumbled to the floor in pain. Narcissa calmly continued to eat her dinner. Lucius was rambling on about how showing emotion was weakness, but Draco wasn't listening. He was only concentrating very hard on not beating the shit out of the monster that dared call himself his father. This was insane. He knew he didn't belong here. He had to get out.

_Chorus_  
_It's easier to run  
Replacing this pain with something numb  
It's so much easier to go  
Than face all this pain here all alone_

Draco slipped on some comfortable pants that were easy to move around in and a tight black shirt that wouldn't slow down his running. He grabbed a suitcase and packed almost all of his clothes. After getting the key to his Gringotts vault and adding it in there too, he slipped down into the kitchen.

There was a single house elf there at the moment. She looked absolutely terrified at the sight of him. However, after informing her that he only wanted about a week's supply of food that couldn't go bad, she calmed down a little and gave him what he requested. Draco swiftly put it in a bag and retreated back into his room.

He grabbed his wand and shrunk the suitcase and bag of food. Slipping them into his pockets along with his wand, he looked around his room for the last time.

_It's easier to run  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)  
It's easier to go  
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)  
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
(I would take all my shame to the grave)_

Draco ran as swiftly as he could to the edge of the forest outside of his home. He sincerely hoped no one had seen him. Taking one final look at the mansion, his home. He knew he would miss the warm bed every night, the food given to him no matter how disobedient he'd been, the perpetual wealth. But he knew it would be better this way.

He turned on his heel and walked away, never once looking back.


End file.
